Sophistication

In my first post nearly two years ago I decided to start putting my most personal thoughts to the internet.  It is a way to make them real - after all, if they are available to the simplest of search engines then maybe they will become real.  I said that I keep expecting changes yet keep doing the same things.

I moved to Houston four months ago.  It was at the end of a long job search and was the absolute right thing to do.  But now I feel like I need a grand gesture.  I told JSMIII that if I could I'd convince SP to quit his job and move 1000 miles to live with me.  So there's my grand gesture - how do I make it happen, how do I make it work?  Maybe it's not SP but the idea of him.  The ideas of all things I want - there's just no smooth or sophisticated way to do this.

Rita Says

Rita says that at thirty eight minutes after one on the eighth day of the eighth month that I am a mess.  Rita is my cat, a maine coon to be exact.  At four pounds two ounces she is small for her breed but what she lacks in weight she makes up for in attitude.  Tonight she has decided to judge me for thinking like I do.  For thinking that while I do everything the same I expect grand changes.

Tonight Rita is right.  Attractive men in attractive relationships are what I'm attracted to.  What is taken for granted is what I covet and what I want to be.  Confidence, quiet arrogance, and self assured is what he will have.  He needs to be flawed, and complicated and intensely simple.

Tonight Rita knows what I don't.  She knows that one day, and one day soon, I will find self assured, quietly arrogant, and confident love.